if you're getting married soon, and everyone has told you that "the first year is SO hard" and you sort of want to roll your eyes and throw things at them, this is for you. i can't count how many times someone told me to "buckle up, because marriage is a lot of work", but it was often. and i totally believed them  -- they were married, after all! it will be hard, they said. get ready for the hardest year of your life, they warned. so i suited up and went in as prepared as you could possibly be.

and then marriage was flippin' awesome.

so i kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, and braced myself for the hard stuff to really happen. so a small fight about the forgotten grocery list turned into the OH CRAP HERE IT IS, THEY WARNED ME ABOUT THIS. but then it would be just a small fight. like we have sometimes. the kinds we forget about within an hour.

so here's what i've decided.

i'm no longer allowing anyone to speak anything over my marriage, and i'm not going to dictate to young brides what their experience will be like. we can do so much damage with a simple statement like "the first year is so hard." i know my resume is only 11 months of marriage deep, but i know the way fear works in the minds of young marrieds. it sucks.

marriage isn't hard. life is hard. there are seasons of life that are difficult, whether or not you have a spouse. so my advice? pick a good partner. learn how to be a good fighter and an even better forgiver.

and stop telling someone what their story will be like.

rant over. (for now.)