there is a certain tv show that i find myself addicted to. grey's anatomy. before you judge me, please hear me out.

it's not only because of the witty one-liners or the impossibly attractive actors that i find myself glued to my tv every thursday night. it is because sometimes i feel that the writers of this show read my diary and then created a show just for me. for whatever reason, the monologues and the anecdotes keep me somewhat reflective on my own personal life. and meredith grey is just so simplistically wise, it's painful.

she has a friend, named cristina. cristina is abrasive, competitive, and for all intents and purposes, void of all emotion. she is sarcastic and dry, and really has no regard for anyone but herself. but she and meredith develop this kinship built on trust and similar "issues". they both go through similar ups and downs, and they both have their own set of "dark and twisty" that affect their day to day decisions. they draw upon each other's wisdom and advice, and they are not afraid to call each other out on their crap.

there is an episode where cristina finds herself in a bit of a medical emergency. in her medical form, she has to write down and emergency contact. she puts down meredith's name, and tells her a simple phrase that i have adopted into my vocabulary, "you're my person."

i think everyone needs a "person." a heart-friend. everyone needs someone with whom they can be their complete selves, in whatever form or fashion each day may make them. everyone needs someone who will call them out on their crap, and offer them a shoulder when it's just too hard to talk anymore. everyone needs a person.

jamie. jamie and i became fast friends. when i think chronologically, it's really only been 3 1/2 years, but i feel like i've known her my entire life. jamie is my person. jamie is my heart-friend. we built a kinship based on trust, laughter, and truth. she is the only person in my life i can be 100% honest with, no matter what stupid disarray i got myself into this time. we are literally in constant communication every. single. day. this is thanks to our handy dandy blackberries, which gives us two things: 1) an incredible insight into each others' lives, and 2) strange looks from our boyfriends. we tell each other truth bombs, we laugh at the little things, we are sensitive to each other's "issues", we keep each other's secrets, we talk in code. she is my person. she is a friend, a sister, a soul-mate to my weary heart, and i am so blessed by our relationship. and i not only love her because of our relationship, but i love her simply because of who she is. she is ten thousand different things, including -- but not limited to:

- she loves everyone. kindness literally seeps from her pores. - she has an amazing laugh -- gusto, enthusiasm, hardy. - she can text like nobody i know. except me, which is perrrrfect. - she does her smileys like :] and i can picture her making that face. - she laughs at my jokes. - she's the funniest person everrrr. - she is understanding and meets everyone where they're at in life, based on no preconceived notions. - she is team rachel. always. - she picks out outfits for me to wear, even though she's 1,000 miles away. - she texts me to tell me to get on facebook chat. - she remembers details. - she loves to read! we are book nerds for life. - she is an excellent creep and a perfect detective partner. - she always exemplifies Christ's LOVE and FAITHFULNESS in her loyalty to me as a friend.

love you jamers. can't wait to spend our entire lives being essys.

my life is recently displaced. new opportunities moved me far away from people i love, including miss jamie. i fought loneliness at first, dying to meet someone who i could relate to. i find that my soul is best when it is welcomed by another; my life makes so much more sense when i find a friend with whom i can be myself. i miss jamie because she makes my life make sense. and while we still keep in touch every single day, Jesus knew i needed someone to be in my new life. not to fill a gap or replace anyone, but to add to the abundant group of friends i have been blessed with.

christy. christy is my texas heart-friend, whether she wants to be or not. if she knew the depths to which i am obsessed with her, she might run for the hills. but she has been a God-send, and so directly placed into my life. i chalk it up to the sovereign providence of the God who loves me. like a good shepherd, he knows his sheep. he knows i need heart-friends; the kind of people who know me and create a safe place for me to be myself. i have been utterly blessed by this little lady. do not let her 4'11" stature fool you; she has a big, BIG heart. she loves Jesus and her eyes literally have a sparkle because of it. she is beautiful beyond compare, so compassionate, so kind, so giving, and so encouraging. she listens well, she laughs out loud, she wears sperry boat shoes every day and she loves to love her students, her cat, her hubby, and ME. she is creative and fun-loving, but welcomes the idea of a friday night spent in PJs, watching syndicated television shows. (my kinda woman!)

the most exciting thing about our friendship right now is branched off how close i already feel to her. there is a life inside her little tummy! in june, she and her husband will welcome a little girl. i can honestly say this is the first time that someone who i am close to is pregnant. and though i am not in the same stage of life, it blesses me so much to be a part of this journey with her. i love hearing her stories about the aches and pains, or the weird foods she eats. i fight tears as she scratches her little belly and dreams up baby names. and every time her baby makes even the tiniest movement, i rush my fingers to her stomach faster than you can blink. i am humbled by how she cares about the details of my life, and i am excited about learning hers. i love that she gets me, and i her. i could not have asked for a better cushion into this scary world people call "texas." i love watching our friendship grow! she is a joyful spirit and her delight for life is contagious.

christy, thank you for being the personified reminder that friendship centered on Christ-like love is the biggest blessing in the world. i love us!

"at the end of the day, faith is a funny thing. it turns up when you don’t really expect it. it’s like one day you realize that the fairy tale is slightly different than your dream. the castle, well it may not be a castle. and it’s not so important that it’s happily ever after – just that it’s happy right now. see, once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you. and once in a while, people may even take your breath away." - meredith grey ~meredith grey~